“We have two ears for listening and one mouth for speaking – for a reason.”
I bet you’ve read this before. But when you think about it, how many of us take the time to really listen? To our clients? To our family? Listen to the people we meet every day?
I recently read a great article from the UX experts Nielsen Norman Group about why silence is the key to better research and ultimately better online communication. They train their research interviewers in listening techniques and avoid interrupting their interviewees at all costs.
Some of their guidelines about how to conduct better research interviews are true for almost any interactions between people, whether it’s at work or out in the wider world.
Why is staying silent during a conversation so important?
- Helps the person process their thoughts – people often need a bit of time to work through an idea.
- Avoids cutting off a train of thought – if you ask a question, then jump into ‘helping’ the person express their thoughts, it cuts them off. They often lose their train of thought.
- Leads to a person digging deeper – given the time and the encouragement to elaborate on their thoughts, people usually come up with more feedback. It gives them a chance to explain their first thoughts and gives you, the interviewer, real gold.
Why is it so hard to listen?
Think about it. There’s so much noise. Social media, pop-ups on websites, billboard ads, robocalls.
We often feel we have to shout too, to be heard over all the noise.
We think we know what our clients need. We’ve just got to get into their heads. But how do we do this?
Perhaps the first step is to listen.
Are you listening to your clients?
If you’re enthusiastic about what you do, it’s hard to shut up about it! You want to convince people to buy what you sell.
But the golden rule of marketing – and good communication – is to keep this thought top-of-mind: your client is always thinking “What’s in it for me?”.
Now I’m not saying we’re all selfish human beings without care for others. But when it comes to buying products and services, it’s on the money.
Whether it’s what you’re saying face-to-face or the words on your website or in your ads, you need to address your client’s problem. The problem that you know you can solve.
And how do you know what their problem is? You listen. You pay attention.
Speak to your clients. Ask them what’s troubling them (in relation to the problem that your product or service can solve – not their marital worries or trouble with their boss at work).
It takes a bit of practice. Ask a question, then let them talk.
Secrets to getting to know your clients
Of course, you need to make sure it doesn’t feel awkward or seem fake. People can tell if you’re not genuinely listening.
- Get your body language right. Lean in and maintain eye contact (without being creepy).
- When they seem to be finished with a thought, ask them another open question. “Tell me more about that”, “How did you feel when that happened”.
- Show them you’re listening and you understand what they’re saying. Nod and make a few reassuring noises.
- Subtle mirroring works when it’s done right. But avoid making it look robotic (more creepiness there).
This TED Talk has some great tips about the value of listening:
How to improve your listening when you can’t see the whites of their eyes
Not all of us meet our clients face-to-face.
- Pick up the phone – In business-to-business marketing, it’s easy to just send an email. But occasionally, picking up the phone is a great way to connect with your clients. Some of the same principles to face-to-face communication apply. Try not to do all the talking.
- Check out the online conversation – Online reviews and social media mentions are worth following to see what people say about you or the type of product or service you’re selling. Take a look at the conversation around your competitors too. You might learn something. SEO guru Neil Patel has some hints on how to do that here.
- Send them a survey – If you can’t connect ‘in-person’, sending a well-crafted survey can give you a few gems.
How to dig deeper and find out what your clients are thinking
Journalists have been trained to ask questions that get beyond the superficial stuff. They ask questions that start with: who, what, when and why?
Earlier this year, I joined writer David Leser in a Profile Writing course at the Australian Writer’s Centre. An experienced journalist, well-known for his in-depth interviews with famous people from the Dalai Lama to Meryl Streep, Paul Kelly to Julian Assange, David knows how to get his interview subjects talking.
He agrees that asking the right questions is crucial. But knowing when to stop talking is key to getting to know the person he’s writing about.
Why listening makes me a better copywriter
Listening makes me a better copywriter – and gives my clients what they need. A message that connects to their audience. A message that moves them into action. Giving you a call, buying your product or service or sending you an email.
As a copywriter, I can’t write a great website or a blog copy in a vacuum. Copywriters need a good brief. And a good copywriter has the skills to listen and ‘extract’ all that juicy information that translates into great marketing copy.
When you listen to your clients, you put yourself in the other person’s shoes. You get to know them and what makes them tick. What they need and want.
Listening makes you a better marketer. And, I suspect, a better person.
So, remember, if you’re not listening, you’re not learning. *
A great reason to always listen to your clients.
P.S. I also came across this podcast by Celeste Headlee called ‘Listening to Become More Human’.
*said by US President Lyndon B. Johnson, according to Google.
